How to: extract alcohol from hand sanitizer.

You find yourself in a bind: you’re broke, you just finished your last bit of vodka and you’re all out of drinks. So what do you do now? Like any other sane person you call it a night and get some sleep (or just finish your breakfast, if you’re in to that sort of thing).

But no, that little bottle of hand sanitizer is sitting there just tempting you to rip off its little pump top and down the aloe flavored Jell-o shot. Sounds enticing, right?

Wrong. That’s just gross. So let’s go ahead and extract the alcohol from the rest of the jelly gunk so you could at least mix it in your soda or morning coffee.

What you’ll need:

  • A bottle of Purell hand sanitizer (or any other ethanol based hand sanitizer)
  • Two empty, clean containers large enough to accommodate the amount of hand sanitizer you want to use.
  • Salt
  • A spoon
  • A filter (cheesecloth, coffee filter, etc.)
  • A band-aid
  • And a spatula

If you’re desperate enough to try this then I think it’s safe to assume that the last thing you should be worried about are exact quantities here. Generally, you’ll want to keep it to a 1/4 teaspoon of salt for every ounce of hand sanitizer. It’s still a very simple process if you don’t feel like measuring this all out.

  • Pour/pump the hand sanitizer in one of your empty containers. Make sure to leave enough room in there for the mixing process.
  • With your spoon, begin stirring the jelly and slowly adding your salt. You’re going to want to add salt until the jelly melts and turns in to a liquid.
  • Filter this salt and hand sanitizer mixture in to your second container. It may be a slow process but the alcohol will filter through leaving behind all the extra gunk.

There you have it. Your very own cup of 126 proof salty aloe semen (I’m sure that’s what this is going to taste like). Hopefully you’re not a “spitter”.

Enjoy.

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